OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
