i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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