im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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