on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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