New invention idea: vibrating tampons
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize