I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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