hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
