You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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