she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Randomize
