I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
