great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
we're so committed to being not committed
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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