Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
false alarm, still single
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
