I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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