btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
