Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
