so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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