you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
