Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
this hospital has no fireball
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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