why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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