So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
