you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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