Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
