Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
