$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize