I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
