My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
