Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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