Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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