im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
