I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
