HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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