I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I've blown a few things in my day
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
