if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think I just shit out all my problems.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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