Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize