Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
