Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I party with great urgency now.
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