Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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