It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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