Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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