i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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