haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
