and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
