A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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