I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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