He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
