i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
