This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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