found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize