like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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