I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
we made out on top of his cat.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
