the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
