Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
