i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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