i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
