I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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