You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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