We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
