On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
