My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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