Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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