btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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