guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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