Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the day after is always just damage control
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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