i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
