oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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