Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
