yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
