my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
