if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
