The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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