dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
