So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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