Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
