just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
