Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
